Function Overload [resubmit]

Covers

The author says:

 Following the advice of some commenters (thank you to all who the took the time, it really helped!) I went back to the drawing board and redid both covers for my series. I think the backgrounds work, but I’m having some trouble with the text and how to set it off a bit more. Maybe a color overlay on the text? Maybe I don’t need to? I’m trying to keep things a bit more simple but I may have gone too far. I am also unsure on the font itself. A more bold, less disintegrating font, may be better and simpler.

Genre: Cyberpunk, Sci-fi.

Elevator pitch: In the second novella, a night of playing a VRMMORPG turns dark when one of Ragan’s friends doesn’t wake up after being captured by a raid boss. Using her skills as computer security cracker she will have to figure out what is trapping people in the game, and for what reason before time runs out.

First cover redone: https://imgur.com/a/Onqw2mI

[original submission and comments here]

Nathan says:

It’s definitely a much bolder concept for a cover. With some tweaks, I think it’ll be perfect.

I think the main problem with the title font isn’t so much the distress, it’s the proportion.  With a long word like “FUNCTION” displayed vertically, it ends up being confined to the far left (in contrast to the redone first cover, where the vertical “DATA” dominates nicely).  I would try stretching the font horizontally by maybe 20%, and see if that gives it the visual weight you need.

As far as making the title pop from the background, I think the solution is simple: darken the background and use pure white for the type instead of off-white.

Other comments?

Call Me Hans [resubmit]

Covers

The author says:

The book is a literary fiction piece set in the Second World War. The protaganist, Henry Martens, is living in Germany when the war begins, tries to avoid service, but in 1944 is forced into the German Army by an increasingly desperate fascist regime. As noted in the original submission “Martens juggles his desire to return home (with conscience intact) with the necessity of toeing the line with his German superiors in order to survive. But the more dedicated a German soldier he becomes, the more he does to survive the war, the more unlikely it will be that he can ever return to family and friends in Canada.”

I appreciated the commentary on the first submission and hope this will get me a little closer to the mark.

[original submission and comments here]

Nathan says:

I appreciate that it looks less like an educational piece this time out. However, something about it says “memoir” to me, more than fiction (probably the reliance on period photos).  There are also some design missteps in here — the gray-on-gray of the lower photo mutes it to murkiness, and the fact that that murky photo is also behind type also obscures it almost to the point of uselessness.

I think that full-color art is definitely the way to go, rather than monochrome period photos.

Other comments?

Rewriting Singularity

Covers

The author says:

All sitcom writer Jacob Grey wanted was story credit. Instead his partner betrays him above and below the covers: He steals Jake’s pilot, sells it to ABC, and sleeps with their bimbo agent. That’s when Jake leaves and ends up at a quirky Green Bay bed and breakfast. Nothing at the bed and breakfast is normal. Jake’s confounded by mysterious bangs and clangs inside the walls, and how despite writer’s block, his new sitcom writes itself while he sleeps. He’s not even sure if the owners are human. But he is sure there’s something about one of the owners. Hector Lodge, the man Jake calls Mr. Mumbles, is one big secret-a secret Jake wants to know better. When Jake sneaks into a hidden passageway between the walls to learn more about Mr. Mumbles, he finds more than a bedroom. A music box plays just for him with a journal tucked inside that he’s drawn to read. A story unfolds that binds two strangers’ pasts with his present. After Mr. Mumbles confronts Jake about his snooping, he confides in Jake. Yes, the house is haunted, and yes, the journals could answer why. But when Jake hires two private investigators to uncover information about the journal’s author, Jake also has them secretly look into Hector’s past. What they discover unravels the family’s hidden history and links them to the man who haunts them.

REWRITING SINGULARITY (62,680 words) is an adult fiction with multi-genre, magical realism twist and gay protagonist with Walter Mitty’s imagination.

Nathan says:

While I like the idea of showing a manuscript being redrafted as the cover and title, I don’t know that it works here.  “Rewriting Singularity” is such a counter-intuitive phrase to begin with, and then having one of the words be crossed out confuses the reader as to what the title actually is. Is it Rewriting Singularity, or just Singularity because “Rewriting” is crossed out?  If you want to use the same concept, what I would do is have two words in a typewriter font crossed out and two new words written in, and then in another ink color have THOSE words crossed out, and your actual title beneath them. (Although I still question whether the title you’ve chosen is a good choice; it doesn’t convey to the reader anything about the book.)

It’s also a good idea to have some kind of border or edge treatment on a cover with a white background, as most book and ebook vendor sites also have a white background, and you want a visual cue of where the cover ends.

Your description doesn’t actually say the word “comedy,” but I get a comic vibe from your synopsis, so my next comments will be informed by that assumption. If I’m reading it wrong, mea culpa.

Comedy is hard to convey on a cover without going over the top… so go over the top.  Ham it up.  I usually tell writers not to use “by” in their byline unless they need to describe the book — “A Novel by,” “An Adventure of the Far Future by,” etc.  In this case, the idea that popped into my head was “A Paranormal Gay Romance With Ninjas* by”… and then at the bottom, “*contains no ninjas.”

But like I said, if comedy isn’t actually a major element, that won’t help at all.

Other comments?

Land of Blades

Covers

The author says:

I recently published this book on KDP. It’s a fantasy novel in which the three main characters each have their own story lines. There’s a soldier, a Witch, and an assassin. Slowly, the three stories converge, which is why I wanted to include the three images (each is loosely related to each of the three characters).

Nathan says:

I think the idea of a triptych cover could work, but you need to make sure that each of the images is instantly identifiable, even trimmed down, even in thumbnail.  Looking at at the thumbnail here, you can see that the eye is the only image that can immediately be recognized as what it is, maybe.

However, you’re making your work harder for yourself by giving even less real estate for the triptych images to occupy.  The landscape serves little purpose at the bottom, and the accompanying sky serves even less purpose at the top. It’s just wasted space.

Your small title (and teeny byline) become nigh-on invisible against that background, both because of the thin letters against an image with texture, and because of the lack of value contrast (light/dark) with the image behind the type.

It’s a cover that makes the potential reader work to get anything out of it, and since said potential reader will likely see this with other book covers to the left and right, you can’t afford not to engage the reader as quickly and as clearly as you can.

Other comments?

Shadowsoul: Katera Rising

Covers

The author says:

Claire has lived most of her life enslaved by a dark mage and his monstrous creatures. As a special skill slave, Claire is frequently put into life or death situations with only her wit to keep her alive. In secret, she is given a mystical necklace with unusual properties, a necklace that is one of six and together it is said they have the power to free her people. But first, she has to escape her prison. Claire’s journey begins before she even knows it’s started and her path is flanked by dangers and mysteries. She will discover things about herself and her world that she would never have believed possible. A mysterious light, A fight for freedom, And a journey to change her world.

Nathan says:

The description makes clear that it’s fantasy, but doesn’t really tell us about the setting (the fact that the name “Claire” is in modern usage compounds the problem); I can only assume from elements in the image that it’s a vaguely pre-modern second-world fantasy setting.

First up, I have some complaints with the image; it’s fairly well done, but that right arm does a lot of damage; it seems out of proportion to the rest of the female model (to the point of seeming male), the forearm has obviously been painted in Photoshop, and it almost completely hides the sword, which is the only element which would say “fantasy” on first glance.  Given that it looks like the right arm was added to the image after the fact, I’d love to see how the image looks with the arm removed.

I think you’ve also got a lot of margin going to waste; the black empty space seems not so much an intentional design choice as simply an unwillingness to have any more overlap than necessary. You could easily cut the illustration down this much:

…and still be able to put the title and subtitle across the top and the byline across the bottom without obscuring any central detail.  We don’t really need to see her hands clearly to know they’re there, after all.

And I don’t love that font; it seems to take up lots of space without giving a good return in impact, and seems like the kind of font that would be chosen by convenience (or desperation) than by positive appeal.

Other comments?