The Neighborhood

The author says:

The Trevor Family – filthy rich, dysfunctional. In an attempt to reconnect with his family, Henry decides to take an unusual vacation to the Democratic Republic of Congo. Fate takes a turn and leads them to an idyllic neighborhood, where everything is more than perfect. The hospitable people, their lively parties, and picturesque homes make them never want to leave again. Almost. Until they meet the weird twins, Mary and Joe. “You can never leave,” said Mary-Joe synchronously. “They have plans for you.”

Nathan says:

There are two issues here: (a) this is not a good cover technically, and (b) this is not a good cover for your book.

(a) The three main figures are obviously spliced together (the light source on the man on the left is the biggest giveaway), and their bizarre assortments of costumes tell us nothing about the milieu of the story. At least two of the three look like their images were taken from Halloween costume sites. The creepy kids look like they were inserted as an afterthought.

(b) So this story takes place in the Congo? I can see absolutely nothing of that in the cover. If I were forced to guess, I would say that this is the cover of a book trying to be Addams Family-esque, with a household of magicians (or psychotic Ren Faire groupies) living in suburbia.

The first step you need to take is to ask yourself, “What is the biggest ‘hook’ in this movie? If I had to blurt out to someone in an elevator why they should read it, what would I say?  And then, how do I indicate that same ‘hook’ visually?”

Other comments?

The Lottery Ticket 2035: The Hunt For Money

The author says:

The year is 2035. The story is about love and survival. Christine Conder by her own actions, but against her will, is a contestant in the most serious lottery game ever played. Money generated by this new lottery supports the advancement of government programs throughout America and millions of people, young and old, are buying tickets for a chance to enter ‘The Hunt for Money.’ Signs flash along freeways and in downtown parking lots: “The Hunt for Money—$493,940,076—Enter to Win—Hunt for Money—Enter to Win!” And the dollar amount changes daily.

There is an unquestionable lack of morality in America. Some say it was caused by the promotion of violent video games while others say it was caused by the unprecedented violence accepted in television programming. Televisions are the babysitter parents do not have to pay. Cancer is no longer the number one killer but now despair and fear generate the highest coincidence of suicides ever known to a society of civilized people—It is a desperate time in America, and there is a growing desire to hunt for money. If you win an opportunity to hunt in this lottery you may become rich, or you may lose everything.

There is a difference in belief between two sisters. One believes there is a God and that we must return to those values, the other does not. Yet they love one another unconditionally. That bond grows stronger during Christine’s struggle to survive.

Nathan says:

First up, I applaud you for publication at an early age. The tools available to you are something I would have killed for in my youth. (Not family or friends, of course. But strangers would have been fair game.)

Now here are some pointers to make a cover that will attract people to your book:

  • There needs to be a focus. On your cover, there’s no particular part worth looking at.  The power of type is too often underappreciated, but in a cover where the imagery doesn’t really have any focus, the type needs to do the heavy lifting.  It needs to be strong, eye-catching, and easily read.  You’ve got a lot of space; use it. I should be able to understand at least SOMETHING from the tiny thumbnail view, because on Amazon or other ebook sites, that’s the first thing I’m going to see, and if that doesn’t draw me in, I’ll never click through to see more.
  • While it’s possible to pull off a cover with just strong type and an unremarkable background image, a better strategy is to use an image with a strong icon.  You know that people are going to think of your book in relation to The Hunger Games, so let’s look at that cover:

Strong, clear type with plenty of contrast with the background, and a single focal image. I’m not saying you need to imitate this cover slavishly; you need to understand the principles of why it works.

  • Where are the author names (called the “byline”) on the cover?  I have to explore the back cover to find your name, and your coauthor’s name is nowhere to be found.  They don’t need to be as big as Stephen King’s or James Patterson’s names are on their covers — they’ve got such a huge fanbase that their names are the biggest selling point — but they should still be there.
  • Since you gave us the back cover too, a couple of comments specifically for that: Don’t take up the back cover talking about yourself, talk about the book first.  Then use extra space to introduce yourself. And remember that paragraph text needs to be in as readable a typeface as you can find — the more text there is, the more readable it needs to be.

Other comments?

 

Blown out of Proportion (The Misadventures of a glassblower in France)

The author says:

Genre: Memoir

The Blurb: The Thornton family started their new lives in Southern France with a lorry full of glassmaking equipment, two young children, and only naïve optimism and 500€ in their pockets. What followed was a seventeen-year rollercoaster ride of navigating the baffling French education and legal systems, setting up a business, and turning a scorpion-infested ruin into a home . . . not to mention encounters along the way with a motley collection of molesters, thieves, kidnappers and corrupt politicians. It is also a story of eccentric characters and inspiring friendships, all told with compassion and humour and a smattering of historical and cultural facts.

More info: The glassblower was kidnapped at gunpoint. We have 6 rescue cats. And the tone of the book is humourous but sometimes poignant. It is not the normal memoir, ‘we moved to France and had a great time’. It’s more, ‘We moved to France and survived against all odds’. Note this draft cover has an old name and clearly the colours are wrong for the french flag. It is a very poor mock-up which I made with prit stick and scissors to give the designers what I (think) I want. I am at a complete loss over this cover. I clearly need help!

Nathan says:

I think admitting up front that you’re “at a complete loss” is am important step. Too many people try to design their own cover without realizing that they have no idea how to design their cover.

You already said that you’re planning on working with a designer. I think the best plan is to find a designer who’ll work from your blurb and maybe a sample chapter, and let the DESIGNER figure out what will work. If your chosen designer will give you three or four mockup sketches to choose from, you’ll be able to see what works best.

Melancholy [resubmit]

The author says:

[Note: No new synopsis was submitted, so I assume it’s the same.]

Two strangers both have one thing in common, they lost a partner to death. Brett Miller, a widow with a ten-year-old daughter, has spent the last two years grieving the death of his wife Natasha. The heartbreak and the devastation don’t seem to end, when he loses his job, and his relationship with his daughter continues to disintegrate. He tries to keep everything together, but isn’t sure he has it in him. Victoria Bell’s boyfriend of two years died unexpectedly, leaving her alone to raise their infant daughter. With the help of her sister, she learns to live again. But an unexpected foe from her past puts a wrench in her new beginning and she fears staying in the realm of heartbreak forever. Can Brett and Victoria break free from melancholy?

[original submission and comments here]

Nathan says:

Without a new synopsis, the former criticisms are in play: “How do the stories of Brett and Victoria relate? Is this a romance? Are they neighbors who platonically help each other through their crises? Do they become each other’s arch-nemesis? I’m trying to find the core of the story here and what readers it’s meant to appeal to, because that will matter which way we go on this cover.”

The typography is more professional this time around, but it still tells us NOTHING about the book. The cover could be anything from a collection of poetry to a memoir of depression to…

Dauntless Hearts

The author says:

Dauntless Hearts is a sweet standalone Regency romance written in the archaic language of 19th-century Britain. This novel explores themes of ambition, bigotry, love, developing maturity, and courage in the face of adversity, all in a richly realised historical setting with well-rounded characters. If you love Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer, you will adore Dauntless Hearts.

Nathan says:

I have absolutely no problem with the technical aspects of the cover. That said, don’t most Regency romance covers feature a couple, rather than a woman alone?  It could go a long way toward flagging your target audience.

Also, I looked you up and know that you’re female, but “Lincoln” isn’t a name that people assume belongs to a woman, and almost all romance writers use a name that instantly says “female” (including some male writers that I know — Angelica Hart, I’m looking at you). I’m not saying that you HAVE to change your byline, I’m just saying that it’s worth considering.