The author says:
In 1985, a witch turns little six-year-old Dana into a cat. Ten years later, he escapes the witch and takes up with a little six-year-old girl whose legal guardians are sexually abusing her. The witch’s curse gave Dana no special powers or abilities whatsoever apart from being a cat with a human mind, but this is more than enough for his purposes; for when horrendous and often fatal “accidents” begin befalling various unsympathetic people and institutions around him and his new owner (starting with her rapacious guardians) who’s ever going to suspect her cat of being the culprit?
As mentioned on previous submissions, the genre is Suburban Horror-Fantasy, but I should probably also add that Horror is its primary genre, the Fantasy premise being of only secondary importance to the story.
[previous submissions and comments here and here]
Nathan says:
You say now that it’s primarily horror, but is that really the case? Horror stories are usually about the people that things happen to, rather than the people doing things. If this were truly a horror novel, I’d say to go back to the first cover you submitted as “Catslash” and work from that concept. However, since it still seems more “urban fantasy thriller” than actual horror…
(BTW, if Dana is turned into a cat, not a kitten, and then the events of the story take place a decade later and he has “no special powers or abilities whatsoever apart from being a cat with a human mind,” we’re talking a pretty old cat here.)
I think you’re missing the boat by having your cover be NOTHING BUT CAT. The story is how this cat protects the little girl, right? Then have a sad-eyed little girl holding a cat with red eyes. Put them against a black or murky background, use a title font reminiscent of the horror or revenge-thriller paperbacks of the ’80’s, and you’re good.
Other comments?
I do think it’s a much better than the last one you submitted. So is the cat like the one The Disney movie hocus pocus? because that’s what it reminds me of.
First, I like this one more than the former submissions.
Secondly, Nathan, you’re going to drive poor BRLC crazy. He had two different covers, if memory serves, one of which had only a cat, with a quad of red scratches, and then, the cat in the kitchen, with the body-outline (a la CSI), and now this one. I think we can rest assured that so far, nothing other than the cat is forthcoming, character-wise.
I have a handful of comments: firstly, try as I might, and yes, I know it’s my fault, but I still just don’t love this font. I’m actually kind of glad that you’ve used it, b/c I’m going to remove it from my font library; it’s just not doing it, and I’m sure you’ve worked hard at it.
You’ve paid attention to all the previous comments, that’s clear.
Second, I personally really don’t love the color scheme, but, it will certainly grab attention.
Third–and this is my bigger comment–something’s been niggling at me, forever, about this cover. I finally decided to tootle on over to the Zon, and run through “Horror Fantasy” covers, and finally, I realzed what it was–there are almost ZERO Photo-manip covers. Almost every cover, even well down into the self-pub ranks, has some type of customized artwork. OR, used a stock drawing/sketch that I’ve seen, in my travels, and made it work. BUT, they are nearly all artwork–not photos that have been manipulated.
I realize that of course, there are likely budgetary limitations, and I understand that. But I think that it might, surely, be possible to find a suitable drawing (e.g., DeviantArt, etc.) that could be used? I ran across this one: https://www.deviantart.com/art/Black-Cat-263434242 that he might be willing to sell, as he made it 6 years ago. (Which, btw, IS a photo-manip, as it happens–the irony is not lost on me.) Perhaps Isaiah Stephens would part with this: https://isaiahstephens.deviantart.com/art/Teachers-Pet-293568180 (y’know, the man inside that cute cat…with something else on the cover to make it more sinister? Just the title alone should do it, I’d think…)
Perhaps the better approach might be to find a suitable girl for the cover–and only the suggestion of a cat? Could your Catslash slash marks work, behind a girl’s head? (Or young woman, or..?) Or the ubiquitous “girl in danger” cover, with the slashes behind her? A secret protector? The silhouette of a girl in danger, with the slash marks behind her/overhead?
I wish I had something more helpful in a definite way to say about this cover. I get where you are trying to go with it, but Nathan’s right, in his comments on your original submission–it’s very, very different than most of what is in its chosen genre. (BTW, I guess there’s a “Suburban fantasy” genre, but I confess, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of it, outside of, well…y’know, housewife-with-plumber type “fantasy.”).
If there is a way to much more strongly emphasize the FANTASY aspect of the “fantasy-horror,” I think it would work better. I do think that the photo-manip limitation is hurting you, if that limitation is real.
Those are my comments. Again, yes, I like this one more than the others, but the same comments that everyone had, in the original–that the genre, etc., just isn’t coming through that strongly–is still affecting this one.
I truly hope that helps.
I second Nathan’s suggestion. A girl sitting in a kitchen holding a cat would say horror way better than this. But you need it to be dark and moody. It has to be scary. This looks very DYI. Every part looks like it was chosen at random and placed atop the other parts, the scene isn’t cohesive.The background would be a mystery if I didn’t already know it was the kitchen from the last cover. I get your trying to add the ‘suburban’ element but it isn’t translating. Your cat just looks like a cat with maybe flames around it.
I actually still like the font but not the effects that again just seem random. effects for the sake of effects. The outline you picked takes away from the sharp edges of the font. Try emphasizing them instead by making the shaper letters bigger or griedenting the points darker. And consider adding more words to match genre expectations. And this Color pallet seems way off for horror. Its much to bright and not creepy enough. Play around with your coloring settings or color overlays. And work on the setting until it sets the correct mood.
https://depositphotos.com/1386439/stock-photo-the-beautiful-girl-with-a.html
this one might be perfect
https://dezamiena.deviantart.com/art/emo-girls-cat-156002025
is nice but I have no idea if its for sale. But you could tweak that first one with little effort. her position is nice and she’d be easy to insert into almost any background. throw a shadow across her face. (maybe light the image so the cats eyes are the focus)narrow the cats eyes and make his white fur darker if needed. Maybe put some blood dripping from that paw, or a hint of glow about him… I can see lots of potential here. but there are hundreds of pictures.
It’s certainly a striking cover and I hate to say even a word against it, but…
Like the earlier efforts it really conveys little or nothing about the nature, subject or theme of the book. Take a look at the first couple of sentences in your description, which really lay the foundation for the novel, and where is any of that reflected in the cover?
“In 1985, a witch turns little six-year-old Dana into a cat. Ten years later, he escapes the witch and takes up with a little six-year-old girl whose legal guardians are sexually abusing her.” This is the idea that really sets your book apart. You need to get this across to the potential reader.
Of the covers we have seen, I think this is handily the strongest. It succeeds in carrying the message that an otherwise non-threatening house cat is both threatening and important. It also succeeds in bringing an occult vibe to the fore, though perhaps a touch more demonic than witchy. That might be improved with a simple color change to a colder shade of flame. Consider the violet flames in this webcomic page.
I haven’t a good sense for genre and fonts, relative to many here, so I can’t really add much there. Personally I prefer artwork over photos on any cover, so I can’t help but agree with that point. I do think if you can get the witchcraft angle right the fantasy will take care of itself, but perhaps shows like Buffy and Sabrina muddy the waters in ways I’m not aware of. Best of luck, I think there is progress being made.
I’ll say this for that cat: he looks pissed! I don’t know if I’d say he’s “demonic” as Kristopher Grows says, but you were right when you said anybody would look hostile with glowing eyes; it’s kind of like that “red eye” effect you get from cheap cameras when people stare directly into the flash, making them look like they need a trip to the exorcist. Having those angry-looking flames behind him doesn’t hurt either.
That said, the flames cover so much of the background I can only just barely see that dead guy’s hand the cat is… stepping over, I guess? (Proportionally, that looks like a rather large human hand; maybe the hero really is just a kitten in this moment?) Other than that, there’s a bit of modern kitchen in the background (at least, I think that’s a kitchen), probably to establish the modern setting. These are all fairly good elements, but is that all? You couldn’t maybe have squeezed the little girl who owns this cat into the shot somewhere as our esteemed host suggests?
I get that you’re just following our suggestions to give the cat something like an energy nimbus (a really, really angry-looking nimbus), but it occurs to me that those separate little flares of fire above the main flame make it look a little too real to be just a symbol of his wrath like his glowing eyes. Somebody a bit more literal-minded might think this cat really is from Hell, emerging from a flaming portal and possibly spreading burning ruin with every footstep. That’s not quite the impression of him you seemed to be trying to give your prospective readers according to your description; I mean, if he doesn’t have any magical powers (as you say) then Charlene McGee the Firestarter he ain’t, no matter how many bad guys he manages to slay.
Overall, it’s a pretty good cover and a massive improvement over the previous two, but I think you may need to throttle back the fiery imagery just a bit to clarify that this cat is only figuratively a hothead.
As ever, it seems my latest submission has generated lots and lots of helpful feedback, and for that I thank all of you critics in advance. Together you’ve made a lot of comments that practically demand responses, so let’s get down to business, shall we?
Nathan Shumate:
Well yes, usually horror stories are about the victims rather than the perpetrators, but this is one of the less common (though not so rare) inversions told from the point of view of the killer. Part of the horror comes from the moral dissonance of sympathizing with a vigilante whose victims all pretty much deserve every terrible thing he does to them, and yet realizing that vigilantism is a bad thing and that probably no fallible mortal ought to have the power to determine who lives or dies the way this protagonist does. Basically, as Dana takes a kind of angry satisfaction in describing in lurid detail all the ways he made various people suffer and die for their various evils, the real horror is when the reader eventually thinks to ask “Hey, wait: have I been rooting for a bad guy?”
Nathan Shumate:
In fact, that actually becomes a bit of a plot point late in the book when Dana looks into how long cats live and starts wondering why he’s living so much longer than they typically do. The news articles on this subject don’t say much on this issue, but the world’s longest-lived house cat on record (Creme Puff, who lived three days past her 38th birthday) was probably already getting pretty creaky and decrepit by the time she turned 30. In contrast, Dana still feels relatively young and vigorous more than three decades into his career. (Technically, I don’t think a longer-than-natural lifespan actually counts as a special power or ability, though.)
Nathan Shumate:
Well, yes and no. Obviously, you’re not the only one who thinks so:
Hitch:
s m savoy:
:
RK:
Nathan Shumate (again):
Hitch seems to have picked up on a point that eluded the rest of you, however:
Hitch:
Let me put this way: the (as yet unnamed) little girl is a fairly important character, yes; among other things, she ends up being the protagonist’s meal ticket for many years to come. This not being a Lifetime movie-of-the-week kind of story, however, she’s not going to spend the remainder of it as a perpetual damsel in distress. After Dana kills off her sexually abusive guardians and then some of the predatory faculty at her elementary school in about three or four chapters, his vigilantism will take him further afield, and his owner won’t be facing too many direct threats to her safety anymore.
So yes, she’ll continue to be an important supporting character for pretty much the rest of the story; but no, the story isn’t so focused on the little girl once her protagonist pet has exterminated the entire plausible handful of people who directly endanger her. I actually did think to include her on the cover: as I said last time, that one R.L. Stine cover someone offered as an example of what to do is the one I’d steal outright if I were sufficiently shameless and unethical; and that cover has the feet of its young boy protagonist on it behind the cat. Inspired to produce a similar image on my cover, I likewise managed to locate a set of little-girl legs to layer in over the background, but this idea didn’t work anywhere near so well in practice as in theory: behind the cat and his flaming aura and his victim’s hand, those two legs just didn’t look much like anything.
I appreciate the efforts some of you made to look up sample pictures of a little girl holding a cat, but in view of his being the main character and her being his support, the necessary focus on him almost inevitably requires squeezing her out of the frame. Also, while she’s a considerably more important supporting character than any other (such as the witch who transformed him and from whom he permanently escapes about a chapter or two into the story), emphasizing the little girl too much on the cover would be setting readers up for a payoff that’s just not going to happen.
Ian:
I haven’t seen that movie, but judging by the IMDB description, I’d say basically yes—if he were the main character.
Hitch:
I’m not entirely wild about that teal-and-orange wash that seems to be on movie posters and book covers everywhere these days either, but that seems to be what people expect to see. Also, orange-and-black (particularly when the black is that of a short-haired cat) tends to remind American readers of Halloween, so that vague connection to witchcraft is a bit of a fringe benefit.
s m savoy:
Aside from what a pain it would be to turn the fur on that kitty in that first picture all black (as it is on my protagonist Dana), he looks more like he’s begging for somebody to rescue him from this crazy little girl who’s captured him rather than like he’s got murder and vengeance on his mind. As for the second picture, a pair of glowing eyes could easily make him look sufficiently angry for the shot, but I’d have to zoom in a lot to focus on him properly, and the photographer doesn’t seem to have any higher-quality versions of that image on offer. Yes, there are lots of pictures of black cats with blazing yellow eyes online, but the one I’ve already got here seems more than sufficient to me: it’s high-resolution, the cat is proudly striding toward the camera, and he looks like he’s glowering at the viewer even before I put the glow in his eyes.
Hitch:
My budget is something of a sticky point; I’ve only barely just made back in royalties what I spent on the cover for my last book. Are you sure there weren’t more manipulated photos on those covers, though? Those six covers Mr. Shumate posted as examples of what kind of artwork to use on my last submission all looked either like photographs with color washes (mostly the aforementioned orange-and-teal) or illustrations with color washes that someone made from photographs. The latter might actually have just been manipulated photos too; some of the fancier filters on editing programs these days can make a fairly convincing “painting” or “colored pencil sketch” from a digital photograph.
Though that first image is rather nice, as mentioned, the necessary emphasis on the cat would rather tend to squeeze that pretty “emo goth” girl out of the frame; and this when the image has a landscape ratio, which is already difficult to crop properly for a book cover’s portrait ratio. (Also, despite all the abuse she’s suffered, the little girl in my story is resilient enough that she does not end up turning into an emo goth.) As for the second image, it does remind me a bit of the “rough cut” new cover to that Firestarter book RK linked (kind of a surprising design choice—it looks rather 1970s retro to me), but maybe it’s a bit too rough. In view of such roughness evidently enhancing people’s perception that this is supposed to be horror story, I’ll try to make my next draft look more illustrated, but I can’t promise any miracles.
Hitch:
Indeed, though that kind of “fantasy” does have just a smidgen of relevance: it’s a bit like one of my guilty pleasures, the horror movie Teeth, which a lot of residents in the neighborhood where it was filmed initially protested because they thought it was going to be some kind of skin flick. In fact, the finished product is a lot like a skin flick—just one gone horribly, horribly wrong as the innocent-but-not-so-naive young female protagonist learns how to use her titular vaginal teeth to turn the tables on all the perverts in her town trying to make her their next conquest. Basically, the writers made a horror movie out of what could have been a rape fantasy from a skin flick.
Likewise, my book turns several of those rape fantasies into what might be a vigilante’s anti-rape fantasies, and then makes a horror story out of those. In horror, shifting genres can be a very effective way to shock and disturb people. Even when readers know well in advance that what they’re reading is supposed to be a horror story, watching a situation typical to one of the other genres they like end up going horribly wrong still has a way of rattling them.
Hitch:
s m savoy:
Concerning the font, one of the reasons I rather like Yataghan for this cover is that the tails on the C, t, s, and y remind me a lot of a cat’s upper fangs. While—as I’ve said—Dana doesn’t actually use his claws and teeth on humans very much in this story, people still tend to have a rather visceral reaction to pointy things. One point on which I do agree, though: at a larger size, Yataghan at a larger size seems to blunt those points; maybe if I manually sharpened them, this would look more like a horror font.
As for the color palette… well, see some of those R.L. Stine books Mr. Shumate put up in the comments section for my last submission. I’m not so inclined to “taste the rainbow” as Stine’s artist was (though if I had the budget for it, I’d hire that guy to do this cover in a heartbeat), but it seems to me using some “kiddie colors” on a novel for adults has a subtly unnerving effect; as mentioned, people find genre shifts in horror novels unsettling, so wouldn’t they also find it rather creepy if an adult horror novel’s cover reminds them of the covers to the children’s horror stories they used to read? Incidentally, Stine wasn’t the only horror novelist whose book covers used bright colors effectively: Christopher Pike, whose sex-and-violence-drenched “children’s” horror stories were actually targeted more at older teens and new adults, used quite a few retina-thrashing palettes on the covers of his books; so why shouldn’t I?
Kristopher Grows:
RK:
Believe you me, I really had to squeeze the aspect ratio on the image of that flame horizontally to make it fit on this cover at all. Actually, Dana does commit some arson in this story in addition to all those killings (he hates the public elementary school where his new owner is initially a student, and not just because of the predatory members on its faculty). Still, if you think the “flames of burning anger” effect is overdone and too literal, I can scrub out those detached flares and maybe squeeze that flame a little thinner.
Another possibility: you may notice there’s already some purple around the fringes of the flames. What if I were to make the fire more translucent? That would add a hefty dose of that “occult” purple as the red in the orange of the flame blends with the cooler blue-and-teal of the background, and would probably make that dead hand more visible. (I’m kind of miffed you’re the only one who seemed to notice the cat was stepping over that hand.)
In addition, since purple flames don’t generally occur naturally, maybe making these flames that way would keep them from looking “too real” as you put it. Whether they’re as “witchy” or “occult” as Kristopher Grows says, they certainly look rather otherworldly. Moreover, the two covers for urban fantasy Mr. Shumate showed me before that didn’t exclusively use orange-and-teal washes each had a strong dose of purple on them…
Thank you critics again for all your advice; you’ve given me a lot to consider. In the end, of course, I can’t really accommodate every suggestion, but maybe I’ll make just one more submission here before putting together a final draft.
Hm, yes, I think that “dead hand” would be a lot easier to see if we could see it through the flame. So would everything else behind the flame, for that matter. I definitely recommend going with that.
Out of curiosity, Nathan, has your queue been getting so crowded recently that you need to move all these cover submissions through here at such a rapid pace? We’ve had three this week already!
Well there was that bit where he was ill or had his computer die, I forget which.
Or both.
When the hopper is full (which it is now), I try to post them M/W/F — any closer together and I suspect that each won’t receive as many comments. (Sometimes even with a full hopper I don’t have time on the designated morning and skip the schedule, but…)
Maybe I should stop telling people to come here constantly? I mean…it’s great for CC.com to get traffic; the submitters get helpful comments, (hopefully!), and those of us on this side obviously enjoy the work (or we wouldn’t be here). I certainly meant to send folks this way, but I didn’t mean to stack them up like cordwood. Should I shut up??? Seriously?
H
It comes in waves — just a few weeks ago, I had nothing. Right now I have seven in the hopper, including resubmits. So just let people know that I space them to give each proper attention.