The author says:
Second test of concept, previously submitted under the title Ravaged Worlds. Changed it to give more emphasis on the type of story it truly is.
Keisha Rose has a curse. She’s an empath, able to feel the emotions of everyone around her, overwhelming her, forcing the young woman to live a life of isolation. When a race of alien telepaths invade her colony world, they do so by projecting overpowering waves of despair. They quickly capture Keisha, and unwittingly unlock her full telepathic potential. Keisha Rose must not only come to grips with her own curse, but must now deal with the fact that the fate of all humanity now rests on her ability to control her mental powers and use them against the invading “Mind Assassins.” This is the first book of a trilogy. The novel is science fiction.
The submitted cover is a test of concept.
[original submission and comments here]
Nathan says:
It certainly works better than your original submission. So does the new title inasmuch as it related better to the book described, although it somehow seems pointedly inelegant. I’d play around with combining words from your book title and series title to see if you can find one that flows more trippingly from the tongue.
I like the idea of the rest; here’s how I would look at refining it:
- The star pattern isn’t recognizable as such from the thumbnail. I’d add at least a few bright twinklers than can see seen from a distance.
- I don’t think we need to see the whole face. If you crop it at the bottom of the nose, then the focus will be even more on the eyes.
- I don’t think the completely monochromatic skin works. I’d add at least a little tint.
- Play with that font. Yes, it conveys “science fiction,” but it’s also harder to read than it needs to be, and it’s more than a little bit ugly.
Other comments?
the emerging face needs some reflected color on it to incorporate it into the scene. right now it looks like a separate picture. I don’t think the black and white is working for this. I think you need a color version of the girl but you still need to add the color from the portal around her to her skin. you might want to add a hint of glow to the portal edges too.
I do like the picture and the colors in it though. I don’t love the writing. I suggest you play with it as Nathan advised, all of it. If this is a series take some time to make a cool series brand. I’d try moving the series to below the pic (right now it feels more prominent than title) with author name and centering the title more in the space on top but using a different font or at least maybe making the first letters bigger on this font and changing the spacing a bit but I really think it needs a different font
So far, so good!
A few suggestions in no particular order.
Make sure that the starfield comes across immediately as one. You can find a plethora of high-quality images here that are free to use https://hubblesite.org/resource-gallery/images
Choose “Stars and Galaxies” and “Hubble favorites” for your search filters and you will find a very large number of beautiful images.
The title looks crowded into the top of the image. Close up the line spacing and move it and the subtitle down further into the cover. You might also, as the other suggested, play with some different typefaces.
I agree with Nathan and Shelley that the B&W face is just a little too stark. There seems to be little point to it. You can add a little color to it while maintaining the general effect.
I do kind of wish that the art conveyed a little more of the book’s theme: that “Keisha Rose [is] an empath, able to feel the emotions of everyone around her, overwhelming her, forcing the young woman to live a life of isolation”…let alone any real sense of the rest of the description of the story.
Do you have a picture of a face with a little more….emotion? It sounds like you’re selling an emotional story, yes? I got the impression that the story is about a young woman who is insecure about something that turns out to be a superpower, but the cover shows me a sexy, confident, badass glamor model. That’s a different genre. I think you’re totally on the right track with the warped starfield and an intimate close-up on a face, but if she looked more vulnerable, it might help you get your book to the right readers.
The image I used of the woman on this graphic will not be the one I will actually use. As I stated, this is a test of concept. I chose this one for the test specifically because I liked the contrast between the black and white lighting of the face and the fully colored eyes. I wanted to get feedback before I chose and edit the final photo. The biggest problem I’m facing on this issue is finding a photo that fits the facial and graphics criteria which is suitable for the application that I can purchase a license for. I did want the face to look more vulnerable, but I still want the bright, intensive eyes. Would be nice if I could find my own model, and take the photo myself, but I live in a very rural area and would have a very difficult time doing this. Alas, I’ll have to rely on a stock photo site.
You might try starting with a full-color photo that has the facial type and expression that you are after. Then you could adjust the color, saturation, etc. of the face and eyes to get the effect you want.
I agree. Changing the colors on the face, the brightness of the eyes etc would be much easier to do than to find picture of a suitable face with the enhancements you want. Look for the right expression. that’s the hard part to manipulate. Changing the skin tone, the hair color and all that would be much easier.
The problem with the stark black and gray is that 2 pictures don’t look at blended together. just adding some glints of blue light to the face would help immensely.
I think this looks nice for the most part, but I agree that the black and white face with color eyes isn’t doing it for me. I’d go with the traditional glowy/fantasy color telepath eyes (even if that’s not what they look like in the book).
…and while making sure that the face is being worked on don’t forget that you should also try to find a starfield that comes across better as what it’s supposed to be.
Actually, it is a nebula, not a starfield. And I’d need to redo that as well because the resolution of the one for this test is too small for the actual cover. I plan on adding a handful of prominent stars to the final version so they can be seen in the thumbnail, just as Nathan suggested.
Try browsing the Hubble site that I provided the link for. You should easily find what you need there at high resolution.
Am I the only one here that knows that Empaths and Telepaths are not the same things? The new title seems a bit misleading, given that you’re pitching an empath, not a telepath. Are you trying to avoid alliteration? (Empath Emergence) or is there another book with that name?
Vis-a-vis the model: yeah, like the others, what I see there is a model face, not some vulnerable chick whose life is turned upside down. I know that you said that this is a mockup, and that you are having issues finding the “right” woman for the image, but perhaps you should consider that as publishers have known throughout time, the look of the protag on the cover is pretty meaningless.
If your cover image has a more-rounded face, but the protag has high cheekbones, typically, readers don’t really care. Again, your cover is clickbait–that’s it. Nobody’s going to flip back and check to see that the mole you described on page 14 is actually on the face of the model. How many times did Fabio grace the cover of a romance novel with a hero that was decidedly different than how he appeared? Nine million times, or so?
In terms of “bright, intense” eyes, just find a model that has those. The rest doesn’t matter, typically. Let’s not forget Twilight–which didn’t even DESCRIBE the heroine, anywhere, despite having over 90 glowing descriptions of her sparkly boyfiend in the first 150 pages. Readers aren’t movie-watchers, needing the characters created for them; they’re readers, who actually like deploying a bit of imagination.
Isn’t this font similar to the one you used previously? As Nathan says…well, please find a different one that says “sci-fi” that isn’t as ineffective. It’s not helping the cover.
Just to clarify, my character starts out with only an empathic ability, but this is expanded by the Mind Assassins to include telepathy, which perfectly fits the book title.
Based on that detail I altered your title to reflect it. I also used a more dynamic portrait blended into a nebula background.
THIS IS ONLY A MOCK-UP
https://i.imgur.com/9zsOwHx.jpg
And another idea
https://i.imgur.com/EmTCony.jpg