The author says:
Jack Hobbes is nobody special. His life is less than exciting. Daily routines rule his existence. Then, on his way to work one morning, he sees a car identical to his own. Being driven by someone identical to him. The first time is enough to make him think he’s going crazy. But when it keeps happening, he realizes that he’s getting a glimpse of himself in the future. That’s pretty cool, until he see what the future holds. Will the universe allow him to change his own future, or will he be a helpless victim of time? And what does Albert Einstein have to do with it? Part contemporary sci-fi, part historical fiction, JackSimile and the Phantom Fury is a fast and fun joyride toward “The End.”
Nathan says:
I think I can see what you were going for here, but the biggest problem is that the cover doesn’t point me toward the kind of story you describe. I get “mysterious,” and I get “classic car”; I have to look at the cover at full size to notice the math, which is the only part which could sort-of, kinda relate to “sci-fi.” I just don’t think that the imagery of this cover will attract the readers who would want to read the book.
We could talk about other design upgrades — the clashing angles of the two cursive fonts, the center alignment of everything except the math — but I think you’d be better off to start again with a fresh cover concept, one that says, “Hey! THIS is why this book if cool!”
(And I know that this isn’t “blurb critique,” but beginning the description with three full, if short, sentences telling me that the protagonist isn’t interesting… Yeah.)
There are a fair number of sci-fi stories, mostly dimension hopping types, that have some sort of road extending off into something weird (wormholes, cracks in reality, generic glowing tunnel, etc.). You might be able to get something out of that sort of idea in place of the math. The yellow lines on asphalt at night get mysterious across due to ‘lonely road’ tropes. They work for that, but by their nature they don’t mesh gracefully with other cover elements because it tends to short-circuit the lonely aspect.
Out of curiosity, does this book take place in the desert? Between the Manhattan project and locations like the Superstition Mountains (real place, I’m not kidding) the desert is just crammed full of all the sci-fi, mystery, and oddly enough old car content one could possibly hope for. Listen to a little bit of the early seasons of ‘Welcome to Nightvale’ and do a search for Route 66 tourist traps and you are bound to come up with some mix of things that works.
I think you’ve captured ‘classic car’ just about perfectly, with the unfortunate downside that the cursive, chrome letters are completely unreadable in thumbnail size. They’ve at least got to be thicker, but I think you can achieve the same effect with more visible fonts so long as they are rounded, the letters are chrome, and they are on a stylized red shield. That should give you freedom to experiment.
Not sure what the moon has to do with the story.
Close but no cigar. The cover is much too busy with all the different design elements having too equal emphasis…with the result that there is no focus.
And Nathan is right in suggesting that the cover fails to convey anything of the book you are describing.
I presume that including all the equations is significant …but probably only if you are already familiar with the story. Right now they are just a meaningless, busy texture.
The fonts are a bit clashy. I like the idea of the car insignia, but not having them clash against each other.
The scientific/mathematical notation is distracting, and unfortunately, doesn’t add anything. IF you could find a nice cartoon or illustration of a guy driving, having him twice, going in opposite directions, would be good, but of course, that would be two illos, not one. (Maybe a job for a Fiverr, as it doesn’t have to be drawn to the nth..just a car with a guy going toward you and one away. If you had the road going right-left, it would be easier, obviously.)
I have a comment about the title lettering. Again, as Nathan mentioned about his Blurb kibitzing, this ain’t Title Critics, but it took me several minutes to realize that you hadn’t named your title Character Jack Simile–like a name–rather than jacksimile, like a neologism for a doppleganger. I think the upper-case S causes that disconnect. I’m usually pretty quick on the money, around neologisms and clever titles, and this totally flew by me. Sure, maybe I’m having an off day, but…do you have a group of people you could alpha test, see if they “get it” immediately?
I’d recommend changing the spelling to Jacksimile, which I think is more instantly intuitive.
I like the yellow lines and the red background in the title block, but this feels like it needs some tweakage and reworking. Perhaps the simple addition of a magical-looking car could help–this user on Pixaby has an extraordinary collection of car drawings, with a terrific use of color and effects, if you significantly revamp the cover: https://pixabay.com/en/photos/?q=user%3Aractapopulous++car&hp=&image_type=all&order=&cat=&min_width=&min_height= .
He also has this, which isn’t perfect, but: https://pixabay.com/en/countryside-rain-storm-lightning-2189183/
Good luck.
I don’t think you are off. I totally missed the title too.
Oh, good. I honestly thought I was being dim! 😉
Oh. I, too, thought it was Jack Simile.
OK, so, that’s most of us, then, and this is a pretty sharp group. If we all missed Jacksimile–which is actually clever and cute–then it’s being deployed poorly.
Clever concept, but…
1. It took me a while to figure out the title. Not a good sign.
2. Lose the equations whether they are accurate or not.
3. Lose the moon and move the title graphic up.
4. Based on the blurb, I’d have the same guy in the same car passing each other on the highway, so the one on the right is driving away from us while the left one is driving toward us.
5. Blurbs are not supposed to be self-written reviews.It’s for the reader to decide if it’s a fast and fun joyride or a literary turd.
Also, consider making the S lower case so it doesn’t look like his name is Jack Simile.
Or like this: Jack-simile
Or “Jack’s-imile”
That cover concept is literally exactly what I had said. I even went looking for an illo of a guy driving a car, for that purpose. It’s screaming for that cover. 😉
Right? Frankly, “The Phantom Fury” would be a good title.
https://i.imgur.com/3f5bjsJ.png
Another MOCKUP keeping the title in mind…
https://i.imgur.com/QCWwLFn.jpg
and one last idea…
https://i.imgur.com/fZyTlMB.jpg
This is nice but just a hair off. it’s a great concept. Your letter spacing is a bit off with the word fury touching the word the but you have too much black space and your elements aren’t integrated that well. I have some ideas. I’m not sold on the two cars passing. I think one of them has to look insubstantial or in some way scream scifi. It doesn’t need to mirror what happens in the book it has to sell a potential reader on the idea of the book.
Maybe it would have a more sci-fi effect if you used just a portion of a back-end of the car and had it stretched and fading away into the distance. you could probably work the title into it, similar to what you’ve done here and save you’re entire front cover for the back of the book.
You could even incorporate equations into the fade
It might work to remove all the equations and just leave one(I’d maybe go with the one for time) and make it all glowy and scifi
coming off the road. the eye needs a focal point that ‘says’ something. and right now you have some cool graphics but they don’t really add up.
On a side note, if you’re planning on using the description as your blurb you could use an editor for it. It could use an objective eye. Maybe try putting it up on scribophile or another critiquing spot to get some feedback.
If I was going to complete the car idea I’d have the phantom version slightly translucent and streak the lights. I’d also have the equations appear ‘imprinted’ on the road so they taper into the distance with it, also with reduced opacity.
Honestly, I’m STILL trying to figure out what you folks are on about with the title. I thought it was a character name Jack, who had a very unfortunate last name. I think I must be being dim, because I can’t figure out what else it’s supposed to be.
Oh, wait, is it a play on Facsimile? In which case, “and the” is not helping. It’s like James “and the” Giant Peach, wouldn’t make sense if it was Duality and the Giant Peach. The “and the” forces you to think it is a name.
Regardless, I agree that the cover is busy and doesn’t suggest the sci-fi aspect, that the formulas need to go, and possibly the moon. I get that the red shape is supposed to be suggestive of “car” stuff, but it seems like another random element. I don’t hate it.., but I don’t love it. I’m on the fence. Perhaps if some of the other stuff was removed it wouldn’t be too much.
Though I do vastly prefer the concept of the cars coming and going, I’m not sure a cartoon/poser car is the way to go. Seems like more realism would give it more seriousness.