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Breakers of the Code [resubmit]

The author says:

Hello everyone! I made some changes to my cover in an attempt to kick it up a few notches. The idea of using a more obvious monster, and more obvious… implements helped and I like it more now! There are a few specific notes from the last version that I am addressing up here. 1) I tried the different colour backgrounds, and while they did work and look nice, the main character’s accent colour is green, so it didn’t feel right to have it someone else’s colour! (I did gay it up with a rainbow though.) 2) I am not sure if I am sold on the phallic arrow as opposed to the bum arrow. Everything I tried looked a bit too… spot on. I have included it on this version to see what others think. Otherwise thank you everyone for the comments! – ā™„ CB

Breakers of the code - Cover v2

Breakers of the code - Cover v2

[original submission and comments here]

Nathan says:

Boy, that butt just pops now, doesn’t it?

I honestly wouldn’t notice the phallicness (phallicity? phallusy? whatever) of the arrowhead, but the lower viney protuberance jumped out at me… so much so that I’m wondering if Amazon is gonna let it by.

I don’t know. I think that I’m not the best commenter on this one, as I’m really not the target buying audience. Ā I’ll just say this: My favorite humorous-erotic cover (and it’s even fantasy!) is one that I saw on Joe Konrath’s blog a couple of years ago. Here it is. (What, you think I’m gonna display it here?)

Otherwise, I’ll let everyone else weigh in on this one.

Comments

    1. Thank you Catie.

      You will be happy to know that unimpressive wiener arrow is gone, and happy bum heart arrow is back.

      There isn’t a lot of love for that rainbow (here or with beta readers). The unicorns will cry healing tears, but I think it needs to go.

      1. Good riddance to both. They weren’t working. How about incorporating it in the logo somehow, like maybe the hilt of the sword. It would be just a tiny detail that way, wouldn’t burn the eyes. Although, it might not be visible enough to be much of a clue. Hmm.

      2. Oh, and now that you have some more phallic shapes coming after our hero, you’ve lost the tentacles. Maybe add one that’s wrapping around his leg? The leg in front of the butt, not behind. You don’t want to miss out the opportunity for hentai tentacle rape allusion. Because hentai tentacle rape.

  1. The monstery silhouette looks great, now it’s clear the guy is fighting it and it’s not just a border.

    That’s certainly a butt you could bounce a quarter off of. I liked the original a bit better, though. At thumbnail size you can barely see the difference, and with it so large it looks rather feminine.

    Don’t care for the rainbows at all. They don’t make sense with the monster being a silhouette, and don’t seem to fit in with the style – it looks like a pasted-in afterthought whereas the rest of the picture is clever and visually striking. As I mentioned before, I’m not a fan of plastering rainbows and pink triangles all over things to indicate “gay”; a book might have needed that in the early 90’s, but nowadays it’s trite.

    Anyways, overall I still love this and I’d buy it in a heartbeat.

    1. Thanks Viergacht!

      I was never one for rainbows either to be honest. I wanted to see the reaction, and you are right. Another problem is that it is distracting from the branding, which is never good.

      I am going to adjust his torso slightly to make him look more masculine I think. His butt being bigger than average and magical is central to the plot (Seriously, my plot is crazy) so I would like to keep it more ‘poppin’.

      The last advice about you wanting to buy this makes my day! šŸ™‚ I keep getting turned down by publishers and agents because they don’t think anyone would ever read something like this, because it is just too out there. But, I have gotten such overwhelming ‘I want to read this’ from actual readers lately that I am not going to listen to the publishers anymore!

  2. Well, that does look a little more like a tentacular bog monster thingy threatening the guy. I can’t give you much more advice, except on one little point: all the inner “gleam” lines on the elf’s silhouette are transparent, showing the background through them. Isn’t he supposed to be a solid avatar? Showing the background through these lines makes him look like a paper doll cut-and-paste job… which he is, but it’s not as if your readers need to know that, right?

    For best results, I suggest having your graphics editing program average all the shades of green in the background into just one shade, and then make all the inner “gleam” lines that color. That way, it looks like the light is reflecting off of your character instead of shining through, and he’ll look more properly solid.

  3. Ok, so: here’s my take, even though I am admittedly not your target audience (but I adore anything clever!):

    1. The evil weed (so to speak) is now awesome. Clearly menacing, good job.
    2. The um…protuberance? THAT one? Honestly, I think you may have gone one foreskin’s width too far on that. I mean, heck, you could always try it, and if Amazon doesn’t catch it, great, but I think it’s close to “catchable.”
    3. Don’t love the rainbow. Just not adding anything. I’d dump it.
    4. I know that this isn’t helpful (sorry!) but I liked the arrowhead (ahem) before. It was cuter, just as clever, and a lot less objectionable. Now it kinda looks like a toy rocket, or a junior version of what it is, as in…y’know, the wedding tackle you’d see on a 2-year-old boy.
    5. The enhanced bum is a hoot. I think that’s really good, myself.

    FWIW!

    1. 1. Thank you Hitch!
      2. ‘One Foreskin’s width’ is an amazing phrase. There are two sort of iffy protrusions that might be crossing the line and I will taper a bit of the ‘cough cough’ out of. (I didn’t even think that Amazon doesn’t allow certain things on covers! eep!)
      3. + 4. Already changed!
      5. I like his ‘poppin’ bum much better as well.

      1. You are most welcome, Waffles! I really do think that this cover is mostly a hoot. This one, and the other one with the graveyard are, at this time, my two faves here on CC.C. And I think you’ve made the right choices on this one. It’s a dead cert for Poppin’ Elfbutt of the Year! šŸ˜‰ (Is that the Elfsbury Popped Butt award? Or is it Cherished Cheeky Cherry Cheesecake, she wondered…?)

        1. I’m going to have to go with the Cherished Cheeky Cherry Cheesecake Certificate of Approval. The alliteration won me over! šŸ™‚

  4. I think this is a lot better. Definitely lose the rainbow; you’ve done a perfectly good job of making it look “adult” without that.

      1. If I was going to make one teeny tweak, I’d make sure all the eyes on the monster have pupils and that all the pupils are looking straight at elfbutt. That would both make it look even more lecherous and would further draw the eye to the, er, focal point.

  5. I didn’t comment on the original, but this version is definitely better. My comments are generally of the “me too” variety: original arrowhead better, monster actually looks like a monster now, prism at the top of the cover does nothing, the tendril approaching the elf’s butt is a bit too phallic. Good fonts.

    I can’t see the gleam issues that RK is talking about, but it’s early in the AM, and my eyes aren’t what they used to be.

    Good job, Waffles. šŸ™‚

    1. Thank you DED.

      You did get a new topic in here though for this version despite not thinking so! šŸ˜€

      Fonts.

      I am getting mixed reviews on this new font. The first font was much more readable, but this one is much more ridiculous. Now I am torn between readability and ridiculousness.

      1. I think this font has the right letter shapes for this cover, but it’s badly spaced. If it’s tracked out a bit, the spacing fixed, and the B and C lowered so they fit with the following letter, it looks better and is easier to read, too.

        1. You were 100% correct Red. I was so focused on finding a font, I forgot to adjust the one I found for it to fit properly. It looks much better now!

  6. Nathan: That Alice cover is hilarious and I love it.

    I am so glad your site is here to help. My cover is going to have the most poppin’ elfbutt ever to grace a book cover! I honestly don’t know how much competition there is for that award (and I am scared to find out), but I am pretty sure it is in the bag.

  7. Waffles, I love the monster face. It really shows up in the thumbnail. That’s about all I have to contribute, other than I agree with most of the other comments. šŸ™‚

    1. Thank you A Swan!

      The monster looks much more monstery now, and it certainly has character.
      The actual monster from the book this art is based on turns out to not be a bad guy though… I need to throw in a joke now about how he doesn’t really match the cover art depiction because I like this to much to make him look ‘friendlier’.

  8. Update:

    It is amazing what a difference just a few changes can make! I am so very thankful for all the feedback on the previous versions. Here is a link to the latest changes.

    https://annalsofgentalia.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/breakers-of-the-code-final.jpg

    Some notes:

    1)Tapering phallic tentacles can do wonders for a book cover, I suggest everyone do it, regardless of their cover contents.

    2) RKs idea to add a solid colour to the areas behind the elf has done what I thought impossible. The elfbutt pops even more now. Amazing!

    3) Revising the spacing and layout of the font has changed my mind on it. I think it is the correct level of over the top fantasy mockery.

    4) The monster still may get a pupil and a few hidden lecherous eyes, but I had redesigned this before that comment showed up.

    5) Rainbows purged. I think it is pretty evident what this is about without them.

    Thanks again! -ā™„CB

    (Book 2 is going to have a Dragon as the bad guy most likely. It will be harder to hide his… uh… well, you know, in the silhouette!)

  9. Okay, after seeing the updated cover without the rainbow, I love it. I liked the first cover, but the few little tweaks here and there really make it stand out. (Especially the butt!) I wanted to read it before and now I really do. I signed up at your website to get notifications and I look forward to hearing about the progress.

    For the record, I am not remotely your target audience – I’m not into video games and I rarely read fantasy. But the cover is so eye-catching and interesting. If I saw this in a bookstore, I’d definitely pick it up to read the back. Excellent job.

    1. Thank you JB! That makes me feel amazing! I have gotten such a positive response from people wanting to read this book that it does make me feel like I hit on a previously untapped market with Elfrotica! šŸ˜€

      I am just gearing up and getting ready for the book release, ISBN numbers and the like, so this novel will be released soon! I will keep you posted.

  10. Hello everyone.

    Just jumping back into the past with this thread with some news I thought I should share.
    My book came out yesterday on Amazon. You can get your hot little hands on either a paper or ebook version!

    ebook: http://www.amazon.com/Breakers-Code-Anders-Quest-Book-ebook/dp/B011JD95O8/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1436888762&sr=8-3&keywords=cb+archer

    Paper: http://www.amazon.com/Breakers-Code-Book-Anders-Quest/dp/0994773706/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1436888762&sr=8-2&keywords=cb+archer

    Thanks again for your help on the cover.

    – CB

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